Find the strength. Reach deep down inside you and pull the rabbit out of the hat. It’s in there you just have to find it.

You’ve been punched, kicked, and broken. You’ve been left bloody in the middle of the street. You’ve been dying of dehydration from the heat.

Every time you had a choice, a choice to lie there and cry or get up and rejoice. Rejoice in glory that your heart still beats, rejoice in glory that you are alive!

That strength that you thought you lost so long ago is still there waiting, waiting for you to call to it. It’s not easy, not even close, you’re going to have to fight to be strong. Fight the person within your mind who wants you to be weak and broken.

Strength is not a mask that you put on for the rest of the world to easily remove. Strength is your body armor that becomes you- molds to you.

You’ve been broken and cracked and shot in the back, but they will never be able to take away your strength. For that my dear belongs to you and only you.

You have the power to rewrite your path. You just have to find the strength to do it.


One Breath at a Time

Remember deep breath in, deep breath out. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Looking into the mirror you see a failure, you see anxiety, you see depression. You see everything that is wrong with you, but darling, you are more. You’re more than the scars this life has left on you. You are more than the words he said to you. You are more. You tell yourself this on a daily basis, but it doesn’t stick with you throughout the day. Hell, it doesn’t even stick with you for twenty minutes afterwards.

Suddenly he’s back.

His dark hand is creeping around the corner. His sinister face with his red eyes and his rotten smile is inching closer and closer to you. He is taunting you getting one inch closer then taking two inches back, then three inches closer and one inch back. This is all a game to him. Your life is meaningless to him. You both know in the end he will have you. He will invade your life and take over for as long as he wants.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Fight this. You have to fight this.

You are stronger than this, stronger than him.

Suddenly he is right in front of you. Your palms get sweaty and your heart beat picks up. You hear a bass drum and ask yourself “who the hell is playing music?” Then you realize that it’s your heartbeat you’re hearing.

He’s reaching out to you, just inches until you’re in his grasp. Finally you feel the door handle and slam the door in his face. Not this time. He won’t get you this time.

No one in the meeting notices a change in you. No one notices that you can barely breathe right now, or that you palms feel as if you just poured your water on them. No one notices that you’re biting your cheek so hard that you taste blood. No one notices that you are fighting every instinct to run out of the meeting and find a quite dark room to escape to. No one notices this constant battle you have in your mind, body, and spirit to keep your anxiety and depression away.

This is a battle you face everyday. You are alone and afraid. This is a fight that only you know how it feels. This is one of your most intimate parts of your life that you never share with anyone. One deep breath at a time. You got this.

Continue reading “One Breath at a Time”